A MAHA PUTTHUJANA BUDDHIST FICTIONARY

A MAHA PUTTHUJANA

BUDDHIST FICTIONARY

Catch of the day

Anagami : 1. Lit. "I'll be back" (the Arahant is thus called a Terminator, one who'll never come back.) 2. An ex-girlfriend of mine (also written Anna Gammi).

Angulimala : Indian Rambo.

Arahant : From ara, a kind of parrot, and ant, an annoying little insect. A Monsanto trade mark hybrid animal without any personality.

Booddha boom : The sound made by a falling Buddha image.

Buddhist : A vegetarian who likes eating his rice with some beef, porc, chicken or fish.

Dalaikarma : A crybaby sniveling about his inability to achieve anything.

Dhammakaya : From the Pali Dhamma, Buddha's Teaching, and kaya, rubbish bin ; lit. : "the place where the Buddha's Teaching has been thrown away."

e-Bana : An exatic state of being (in a pill) ; a rather cheap way to Awakening before falling asleep.

Ganjatarupa veramani : The 11th bhikkhu precept : " I'll refrain from smoking pot from a Buddha shape water pipe."

Karmacola : A glass of Buddha's Teaching with ice.

Karmadulaidet : Nirvana with a royal approval.

Karmarlboro : A pack of Buddha's Teaching up in smoke.

Karmaggedon : Shit happens.

Karmasculin : No bhikkunis allowed in the Theravadin Sangha.

Karmasturbation : Tantric Middle Way of saying "Fuck this shit !"

Karmaschmallow : Nirvana on a stick over a wood fire.

Karmercedes : The fast and furious Middle Way.

Karmacdonald's : A quarter pound of Buddha's Teaching with cheese.

Karmalfunction : Vippaka (mostly akusala vippaka).

Karmacintosh : 1. Nirvana, with an apple on top. 2. World Wild Web Nirvana. 3. Four gibabites per second of Nirvana.

Meditating : Better than sitting doing nothing.

Minnesotapanna : The American arahantship state.

Moneykom : Thai bhikkhus most favored mantra (See : La vie surprenante et sextraordinaire de l'Illustre Boudin Moneykom by Bhikkhu Vannaparo, 1997, Neither Nor Press).

Nibbanana : What's left once you've pealled your ego.

Offenses : What bhikkhus are committed to commit.

Patimokkha : 1. From pastrie and moka, a kind of tea ceremony. 2. A deeply annoying and boring ceremonial during which bhikkhus have to listen without any feeling of guilt neither shame to the all list of offenses they have commited during the preceding fortnight.

Renounciation : The first thing a bhikkhu renounce to renounce (for more details, ask Nong K-1)

Sangha : A bunch of inglorious basterds.

Sukhatatrosphe : 1. A terrible thing happening to someone which makes you feel happy. 2. Yet one more other book about ekagatta.

Teepeetaka : Hut or tent where Red Skin Indians were living before being massacred for their lack of good taste.

Youseksiman : Sound welcoming bhikkhus in a karaoke club.